You don't love me anymore
by Chaser-Cya
Summary: A songfic done to a 'Weird' Al Yankovis song. 3x4 Dark Comedy.


Title: You don't love me anymore ~ songfic  
  
By: Chaser  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: None I can think of. Oh there's one.This is unbeataed.  
  
Pairings: 3x4  
  
Archive: If you like just tell me first.  
  
Disclaimers: I own nothing, don't sue, as you will get exactly what I have. Nothing  
  
Author's Notes: The song is by Weird "Al" Yankovic. Zyre and I thought up the idea. It's suppose to be written from Trowa to Quatre or at least that was what I was going for. I might have not gotten there but oh well. I was never good at songfics anyway. This is only my second and the first one is buried under a tree in the park.  
  
// lalalaa // -- lyrics  
  
Anyhow enjoy  
  
// We've been together for so very long  
  
But now things are changing  
  
Oh I wonder what's wrong //  
  
The day was such a joyous occasion. Everyone we knew and many we didn't were there. Nobody thought we could ever get along as well as we did. We were so different so opposite; yet we found the joint path, The crossroad that connected both our lives. So many years ago you accepted me as the missing piece in the puzzle called your life. The day we married was the best day of my life. Yet things didn't stay the same. Once we couldn't be kept apart. Now I hardy ever see you and when I do I have to make an appointment. I don't know what happened.  
  
// Seems you don't want me around  
  
The passion is gone and the flames died down //  
  
You left when I would get home, go on long extended business trips made things hard to understand. I missed you terribly when you were gone. The warm spot had grown cold in your absence intimacy when it came along was quick and detached. What happened to my once fierce and vibrant lover? Remember when we would sneak off into the janitors' closet at your job or when we almost got caught fooling around in your sisters' house for her bridal shower. The thrill has gone hasn't it?  
  
// I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem  
  
That time you made it with the whole hockey time //  
  
I knew we both had wondering eyes but mine were just eyes. Looking had never been a crime. I never touched anyone other than you. Hearing the rumors and seeing the gossip on television confirmed the worst. I admit it hurt me something horrible. I thought it was my fault. That I wasn't enough for you or that I was a stale and boring lover that I didn't provide the spice and variety that you craved. But these things happen in the best of relationship. So I let it go.  
  
// You used to think I was nice  
  
Now you tell all your friends that I am the anti- Christ //  
  
I heard the way you spoke of me to your friends. I was never like that. I never stalked you, pressured you into anything, hit you or abused you in anyway. The only thing I am guilty of is loving you unconditionally. I wash daily and do all of the housework. When you'd come home from work; on the rare occasions; the house was spotless and your meal was waiting for you. I even went and took classes to learn how to make your favorite dishes. All I ever asked for in return was some of your time, A small sign of affection, nothing more.  
  
1 // Oh why did you disconnect the brakes on my car  
  
That kind of thing is hard to ignore  
  
Got a funny felling you don't love me anymore //  
  
All I got in return was a near death experience. Skidding out of control and hitting that mail truck, Spilling coffee on my lap. I survive the crash without harm but the coffee gave me 3rd degree burns on my valuables. You put me in the hospital for 3 weeks. You never even visited me once. It's hard to believe that you are trying to kill me but that incident was only the beginning. Things just got worse as time passed.  
  
// I knew that we were having problems when  
  
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again //  
  
You have me afraid to go into my own bathroom. The exotic animals in the tub and toilet were bad enough but the Vaseline on the floor was by far the worst. Was that really necessary to call the mortician to come claim by body after my fall in the bathroom?  
  
// You're still the light of my life  
  
Oh darling I'm begging won't you put down that knife //  
  
~ Flashback ~  
  
2 " Now can you tell me how this happened Mr. Barton?"  
  
" Well doctor I was giving my husband a kiss this morning and he had a knife in his hand."  
  
" So he stabbed you?"  
  
" Oh no it was an accident. I startled him and he turned around. I was just standing too close that's all. He would never hurt me intentionally."  
  
// You know I even thinks it's kinda of cute the way  
  
You poison my coffee just a little each day //  
  
// I still the remember the way that you laughed  
  
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft //  
  
Most would think I'm crazy to still stick around after this entire time but to do things like this. Trying to kill me that it seems to take and require a lot of emotion to do. I have to always be on your mind it seems. I should feel special. So what I got a little sick from the poison. It was an honest mistake reaching for the sugar and accidentally picking up the arsenic instead. And I only broke 12 bones when I fell. I know your were really trying to save me from falling; not pushing me over. You didn't know the elevator was broken and closed off due to repairs.  
  
// Oh if you don't mind me asking  
  
What is this poisonous cobra doing my underwear draw  
  
Sometimes I get to thinking  
  
You don't love me anymore //  
  
Couldn't you tell me that the snake your sister sent you was poisonous before I had to undergo another hospital stay? I am a preferred customer there. They have reserved a room just for me since I spent a great deal of time there. I have already put their all their children through college, paid for their summerhouses in the tropics, their wives plastic surgery and we've only been together 4 years. All that time together and their families visited me more than you did. I did however get the half-dead flowers you sent me.  
  
// You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill  
  
Now my scars are all healing But my heart never will //  
  
Remember when I got those 3rd degrees burn on my face. You said you tripped and grabbed on to me to break your fall. Unfortunately I was checking to see if the grill as lit. It wouldn't have been so bad if my hair hadn't caught fire. You think I didn't hear you laughing at me with your friends as I ran to put my head out. You stood there while I basically burned and laughed as they called me the mummy and the toxic-grill avenger.  
  
// You set my house on fire  
  
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers Oh ya  
  
Think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap  
  
You shaved of my eyebrows while I was asleep //  
  
You said chest hair turned you off; not like I had more than a little fuzz; so I let you remove it. Somehow all the twizzers and razors disappeared and you told me that you knew an old Arabian trick that would remove the hair and keep it off. I should have known better when you called the hospital so they could ready my room. The scars aren't so noticeable now and my eyebrows have grown back from when you visited me in the hospital. Then again since I had nowhere to live when I was released the scars didn't seem that important. I thought you knew not to put metal objects in the microwave. Why was my prize knife set in there anyway?  
  
// You drilled a hole in my head  
  
Then ya dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead //  
  
I had a dream that you actually did this and killed me. I think I'm cracking up. You do love me. I'm just accident-prone that's all. Though the napkin I found with a picture you drew of you standing on my headless corpse was well detailed but creepy and the one with you playing soccer with my head makes me think something is not right between us.  
  
// Oh you know this really isn't like you at all  
  
You never acted this way before  
  
Honey something tells me  
  
You don't love me anymore //  
  
When I finally realized that all these years of pain and suffering from so called accidents were not all me fault. I confronted you about them. You said that I was delusional and sent me to see a shrink. Whom you told that I like to hurt myself, that I had problems and then had me committed to an asylum. I'm beginning to think that our love has diminished. I never wanted to believe that but there are so many things telling it has.  
  
// Oh nooo no //  
  
Well could you please some and visit me. It gets really lonely here at he asylum. I know it's been two years and I'm not supposed to contact you. I still don't understand why your lawyer tells me that you have a restraining order against me and a block on your phone. So that I can't contact you in any way but it's our anniversary soon and I would like to spend it with you my husband. Hopefully your lawyer will give this to you and not request that I be put in solitary confinement again; it was your birthday last time; and not tell them I need to be heavy sedated again. I don't really like that. Could you tell him that for me please?  
  
See you soon.Hopefully.  
  
  
  
Your husband,  
  
Trowa Barton Winner  
  
  
  
// Got a funny feeling you anymore // 


End file.
